Men and Women CAN Communicate Effectively!

23 May

Today, someone told me they find me ‘very sexy’! :O

I’ve known him from a distance for about 8 years, but have only seen him a few times and never had his contact details. I bumped into him today at another friends house.

He’s quite a bit older than me (maybe 15 years?), but i always felt like there was some kind of chemistry between us, though nothing has ever happened. But usually I’m in a relationship.

It was really nice to see him today so i invited him over on saturday.

But when i got home i started over-thinking it and getting paranoid that he’s gonna come over on saturday thinking he’s gonna get some of the fringewalk-pie.

It’s not that I’m not attracted to him. It’s that (SO proud of myself for actually realising this) I know a relationship (or any kind of complication like that) would be a very bad move for me right now, and would fuck up all this good work I’m doing. I really miss sex, but I’m not up for the complications of that either. Shame.

I’ve never, ever been in this position before. Thinking before acting. Putting myself, my health, first. I’ve got to protect myself and I’ve got to protect him, so i sent him an email, which is SO unlike me, i can’t quite believe i did it. I never normally admit when i think someone’s interested, cos I’m so terrified of the rejection and embarrassment when it turns out I’m just a psychotic, delusional ego-maniac with no grip on reality. My email explained what i just explained to you, except i added that i was only telling him cos i value the potential friendship we could have.

It took him about an hour to reply, and during that time i had convinced myself i was completely wrong and deluded about the chemistry, and that I’d just made a gigantic twat of myself.

But he emailed back eventually to say that he did feel it, and that he really respected me for being straight with him, that it would be hard cos he finds me really sexy (finds me really sexy!!), but he values our friendship too so i don’t have to worry, he won’t go there.

I feel really flattered! He’s clearly insane, but it’s still so lovely to hear, i didn’t think men really noticed me, not any that wanted someone to treat with respect, anyway.

I also feel really glad i laid it all out there. I took a risk even though it frightened me and did a really emotionally mature and smart thing, to the benefit of myself and a friend.

I prevented a potential emotional massacre. It’s not a cure for cancer. But i hopefully spared us a lot of pain.

Now i just have to remember all this wisdom and stay committed and consistent to it.

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8 Responses to “Men and Women CAN Communicate Effectively!”

  1. William May 23, 2012 at 11:10 pm #

    Not always easy to curb an impulse like that especially when physical instinct is screaming “Go for it”…maybe I should try it sometime myself 😉

    • fringewalk May 23, 2012 at 11:14 pm #

      The mental image i have of it all unravelling in a complete mess at some point in the future (weeks? months?) is helping curb the instinct!
      Yus, you defo should!
      Im defo NOT drinking on saturday! that will help! 😉 x

      • William May 23, 2012 at 11:19 pm #

        The fact that the only females I meet lately are running the cash-register at the store should keep me out of trouble for awhile … lol

  2. kingskidneal May 24, 2012 at 2:02 am #

    i don’t know you , but i am so proud of you! hang in there. and remember: putting yourself first just mean that you care about you!

    • fringewalk May 24, 2012 at 11:14 am #

      Thank you very much…it IS sinking in (sometimes!) x

  3. roughseasinthemed May 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm #

    I always used to ignore it all. Far too complicated. Good on you for being up front there. Hope you maintain that friendship.

  4. Neeraj Bhushan May 25, 2012 at 9:17 am #

    good straight talk… on the line 🙂 Understanding Is Key To Any Relationship, I suppose.

    • fringewalk May 25, 2012 at 7:49 pm #

      That, and communication!
      Thanks for stpping by 🙂

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