Tag Archives: STIs

The Difference Between Casual Sex And One Night Stands

4 Jun

I was with a few friends yesterday and the conversational subject (inevitably?) turned to sex.

Having been single for a period of time now, i expressed how i miss it. To which every person in the room asked me why i don’t just go out and sleep with some random.

I told them that i didn’t see the point in doing that, they assumed that i meant i need L.O.V.E for sex.

That’s not it at all. In fact, the best sex i ever had was with someone who i no longer loved.

They assumed that I’ve never had one night stands; also not true.

It’s just, every time i have, they have been at best forgettable, at worst awkward and intimidating.

I don’t need to love someone to have sex with them, but i do need to trust them to enjoy it.

Sex makes you vulnerable, i don’t want to be vulnerable in front of someone who could hurt me, physically or emotionally.

I don’t want to have to worry about my wobbly bits or what he’ll tell his mates afterwards. I don’t want to have to worry about STIs.

But those are not the main reasons.

In my experience, it takes a few goes before you learn what someone likes, and show them what you like. Because of this, one night stands (especially for women) can often leave you more frustrated than satisfied.

The things that get me off might be a bit unorthodox to some, and to really let go and be uninhibited (which is essential for orgasm for me) I’ve got to trust him with that hidden side of myself. It helps to know him well enough to be sure it won’t freak him out 😉

That’s why I’m not into the one night things.

Casual sex with someone i trust, however, is completely different.

I didn’t tell them this distinction. Let them assume.

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